My darling daughter
Are you alive, my girl, are you alive?
My own life will soon be over, and the world a better place, but a new horror has entered my mind. My guards, either blunt-speaking or just plain cruel, have claimed that you are dead.
They say that you died in the flames of that terrible night.
They say it jokingly as if to torment me, they offer me no proof, and so I hope with all my heart that it is all a lie, an extra punishment they've dreamed up. I picture you on that terrible night and it breaks my heart.
You turned and looked up at me in the midst of my cruelty, but for a golden second the madness must have subsided - I turned away and left you.
I'll never know what possessed me that night, but my one comfort has been that I did you no harm. Now I fear that you may have suffered along with the rest.
Please write to me in spite of your hatred - please tell me you are safe. Or if, before my sentence is carried out, I could see you one final time.
I know I have ruined your life, but I long to hold you in my arms and make you forget, for one blissful moment, that your father is a monster.